10 digit

I’ve been to basically every state except Hawaii, Montana, Idaho, Oregon, North Dakota, South Dakota, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Alabama, South Carolina, Delaware, Connecticut and Rhode Island.

Last week was our second big vacation of the year, this time to Miami. We’re supposed to go to Denver next week but I don’t know if everyone is up to it. The best vacations are the exhausting ones, where you’re just glad to be home in your own bed when they’re done. And I was sick yesterday. Took a COVID test, it’s negative, I’m feeling better today, so that’s good. We kinda went nuts booking vacations in January because it was still so soon after my wife’s boss died, and he was inspirational for all this vacation time and traveling that we’re doing.

Last Saturday we got up around 6AM and took off for the airport at 7AM. As a man, I like to arrive places extremely early, because I don’t like to ask for help. If our car breaks down on the way to the airport I like to have enough time to call AAA to tow or give us a ride. I don’t want to be stressed and put into a position where I have to ask for stranger’s help, for anything really.

We fly into MIA, met Ted there, and got our rental car – a 2022 Voyager van. I got it for a great price with my work discount but it’s no Tesla. I had to use the cursed CarPlay app on my phone which is awful.

We drove to our AirBNB in Westchester, which is in the middle of Miami, west of Little Havana. But first we stopped at Walmart to pick up our curbside order that the wife had placed. Very convenient to do it this way.

Then we drove to the house, which was nice. The pool was big, there was a tiki thatched roof over the outside table, and plenty of pool toys. The inside was good enough for use. Nothing fancy, just one bathroom, but we never stay at the house for long anyway on a vacation.

I had to go back to Walmart to pick up and return a few items we didn’t want (they substituted for us), and I was struck by all the Spanish being spoken. Like, that was the only language I heard. And most everyone “looked like me”, like an Anglo, instead of the darker skinned Latinos that I’m used to in my town. I had to converse with the front desk clerk; an older gentleman who spoke English well enough that there were no problems. But I left feeling embarrassed. For someone like myself, who is proud of knowing so much about languages, I could have at least boned up on my basic conversational Spanish. I think it’s a common courtesy to at least attempt to speak in a language that the other person is more comfortable in. Also I felt out of place with my big ol’ Portland Sea Dogs shirt and Cardinals hat. I must have screamed out that I was Anglo. So when Laina and I went back later to Publix (next to Walmart) I didn’t wear a hat and just wore a basic t-shirt. I don’t like to make a spectacle. It’s like when I was in Quebec, I spoke English with a Canadian accent when I was around all the other Canadian kids, just because I wanted them to pay attention to what I said and not to how I talk.

That night we hung out at the house, at the pool. Then on Monday we headed out earlier to the Bayside Market, I got my basic pina colada, and then we headed to South Beach. It was the best beach I’ve ever been to, honestly. The sand was white and the water was super clear. The water could have been a few degrees cooler but I’d rather have it too hot than too cold. I can’t stand swimming in cold water.

We walked around and saw all the famous Art Deco hotels and ate at some news-themed place. The greeter was a red-headed girl that spoke English with a thick Spanish accent, which was a minor culture shock.

I could not believe the number of Teslas that I saw. Literally, I could not count them all. We would be driving and see 2 or 3 of them in a row. Just lousy with Teslas, this place.

After South Beach we drove to Key Biscayne and went to the beach there by the lighthouse. The water wasn’t as clear as South Beach but there were fewer people and it was just as nice a swim. We went home, got dressed up and ate at Mojitos Calle Ocho, which was a nice Cuban restaurant down from the house. We were greeted in Spanish, and I knew just enough to ask for a table for 7 people. Other times I had to use hand gestures or just grin like an idiot. I feel sorry for the Hispanics in my hometown, when I see them grinning like this. I know that they probably have an amazing life story (like most people do) but when you can’t communicate it is frustrating. Maybe the future for Virtual/Augmented Reality is that you put on the headset, put in the earphones, speak into a mic, and everything you see/hear/say is what you are most comfortable with. There would be no practical reason to learn foreign languages anymore. But I still think learning a foreign language is good for a personal development level, in addition to being good at a sport and playing a music instrument. It’s the original liberal arts education that makes one a well-rounded person and develops a mind that can adapt to many situations. It also fuels creativity, which will be very important for humans in the future as AI starts to eat our collective lunches.

Tuesday was the 4th of July. We headed out to see the Cardinals play the Marlins in an afternoon game. There is always the rush of going to a new ballpark, from parking the car, to going up to the stadium, checking our tickets, and finally that surge when I enter and see the ball field. This is stadium #19 for me. I’ll only get to experience this 11 more times.

We had great seats down the first base side, in the lower bowl. It was awesome (not) to see the Cards give up 15 runs. But hey, at least it was Taco Tuesday. They messed up and gave us a bunch of extra tacos, which was good because they were the most delicious ones I’ve ever tasted.

I did my thing where I go to the team stores and by a t-shirt. Shirts are really the only souvenirs I get anymore, besides a stick for my truck. I am truly blessed/lucky/hard-working (or some combination of the three) that I have everything I need. Shirts are the only souvenirs that I like.

After the game we went home, swam, relaxed, then got ready to drive downtown for the fireworks at Bayside Park. Trying to find the parking garage was a nightmare, as was the spiraling drive up to our spot. But after that is was fine. We found a nice spot on the lawn to set our blankets and waited. There was a live band singing “I Will Always Love You” when we arrived, then they started playing Spanish/Latino music. I wasn’t sure how patriotic this event would be, given that it was a majority Spanish attendance. But there was a huge American flag hanging from the bucket of a firetruck, plus plenty of other little American flags all over the place. There were even some people wearing flagged-themed clothing.

It was all Spanish music up until the countdown (in English) for the fireworks. Then the show started. The band sang the national anthem, which was nice. Then they played “God Bless America”, and then Lee Greenwood’s “Proud to Be an American”. So I pleased to see so much patriotic goodwill for our country. I knew that Miami was mostly of Cuban descent, populated after Fidel Castro took over Cuba and implemented Communism, which stole many of the people’s farm ground. So I was surrounded by a conservative people who despised Communism/Socialism. This must help give Florida its conservative leaning. But I wonder why conservatives are so against immigration from our southern border. Most of the people coming in are God-fearing, religious types that love their families. They seem like the type of people that we should be letting in with ease.

Wednesday was another day at the beach (literally) as we checked out North Beach. It was just as nice as South Beach but with less people. I shot some good footage with the GoPro that I’d bought for this trip. Before the beach we had visited the Deering Mansion and got some good pictures there.

That night was the harbor boat cruise. So what is our list of must-do for every trip? 1. Harbor cruises 2. Ball games 3. Mansion (wife)/Architectural (me) tours 4. Beach/swimming, if possible 5. Brewery tours 6. Buying local pottery 7. one or two nice meals where we dress up.

This cruise was very nice. The sun had set, it was cooler out, and we saw the beautiful Miami skyline. We cruised by all the lakefront mansions, which I did not know was on the itinerary. Some of these places are jaw-dropping exercises in opulence and flagrant wealth. Shaq, Shakira, Rick Matin, Antonio Banderas, J-Lo’s mom’s; all extravagant places.

Thursday was our all-day trip out to the Keys. We left at 7 in the morning, ate at Mojo Donuts, and headed out on the 3.5 hour drive to Key West. Along the way we stopped for souvenirs and swam at the beach at Bahia Honda State Park. We pulled into Key West, parked, and walked down Duval Street to see the big buoy for the southernmost point in the contiguous US. We had to stand in line for about a half-hour, in 108 degree (heat index) direct sunlight, to wait for our spot to take a picture. I don’t believe I’ve sweated so much in my life.

After the picture we high-tailed it back to the car to get our swim gear and then headed to the boat for our dolphin cruise and snorkeling combo tour. We saw plenty of free-range chickens and iguanas on the way to the boat. Once on the boat we went out a few miles from the shore and stopped when we saw dolphins. There were about 3 or 4 pods swimming around. We were so close. You could hear them expel the water from their blowhole when the emerged.

Then we went out a few more miles to the coral reef area. That’s when we got on snorkels and fins and the trepidation started to set in. I’ve never been snorkeling before, not even in a pool. I got the GoPro ready even though the crappy Amazon handle broke, it was still usable. We walked down the stairs into the water and it was great! It took me a while to trust that the snorkel wasn’t going to fill up with water when I was looking down at the coral. Slow and steady breaths, folks. But my mask kept filling up slowly with water, probably because my beard kept it from getting a watertight seal.

I really enjoyed watching our family have a great time though. Jack had on a buoyancy vest that was controlled by how much air you blew into it. So we was able to dive down deep with the fins on. Emma even had a good time, hanging onto Mom the whole time.

On the way back to land we got to see the sun slink slowly into the horizon. The boat stopped at one point and turned toward the sunset. We got to watch the sun dip down slowly, then fast, until it was gone. This site was a definite bucket list item for me – getting to see a sunset at Key West! How friggin awesome! And it was everything I hoped it would be!

Friday morning we slept in, swam a little, at breakfast, then got ready to leave the house. We went shopping at the Dolphin Mall to kill time until our plane left. I was really anxious when it came time to board our plane and no one was lined up, no one was barking out instructions on the intercom. Then about 20 minutes after the boarding time they announced that they were waiting for the pilot and flight attendant to arrive. I was sweating it because we had to fly into Atlanta for our connecting flight to St Louis. I really really really did not want to stay the night in Atlanta and wait for the next flight out. I also dreaded the thought of having to land at Atlanta and run through the concourses to catch our next flight, which is what the wife and I had to do when we got married in Las Vegas.

The pilot and flight attendant showed up, we left, and we actually landed in ATL the same time that we were scheduled to land. We landed in C9 and our flight left from C13 so we weren’t that far. We had plenty of time to spare on the layover.

We got into STL, waited while the crew looked for Elsa’s phone that she left on the plane (it was in the bottom of mom’s bag) and got into the lovely Tesla for the trip home. When we parked Sunday the battery was at 82%. I shut off Sentry and Cabin Overheat Protection, and hid the app on my phone so I wouldn’t accidentally keep checking on the car. We arrived Friday night and the batter was 81%. You can’t beat that! We didn’t have to charge on the way home which was great.

So Miami was fun, it’s checked of the list. But we wouldn’t go back. Key West however, we would like to spend some more time there.

This weekend Jack had travel ball games in East Peoria, during the Father’s Day tournment.

He had a doubleheader Thursday for Junior League, where he made his pitching debut. This is a major league distance field. Then Friday he had to play on a Little League size field. Such is the joy of having a weird birthday, where you are too old for Little League but not for travel ball.

We ended up waiting too long to book a hotel room and ended up having to get a three bed suite for $600. It was worth it though. Jack and Elsa had their own beds while the wife and I had a separate bedroom. It had a jacuzzi tub too, which was a surprise.

Jack’s team won their Friday night game. We went back to the hotel that night to find about 200 children playing in the side yard behind the hotel. It was nuts. All of the four Beardstown travel ball teams (different age groups) and their parents were staying at this hotel. The kids went out to play with all the other kids and the wife and I went out to walk around. I turned the corner and found all the adults outside, sitting by the fireplace and drinking and chatting it up. I was not prepared for a social situation. I was feeling fat in my Expos shirt, really ready for bedtime more than anything. But I manage.

Even more surprising was my discovery that the hotel had not one, but two Tesla wall mounted chargers onsite. I was thinking that we would have to hit the Peoria supercharger on Saturday, but nope, I had free charging right there at the hotel. Awesome!

Jack played a couple of games on Saturday. The night game they won by one run. It was the most exciting ballgame I’ve seen him in this year. It was one of those night when everyone was getting hits and every hit ball seemed to find a gap in the outfield.

In between games we went into town to do some shopping. We were looking for a left-hander’s catching mitt, which is rarer than hen’s teeth. So no luck on this day to find anything.

The team won their first game on Sunday but lost the next to end the tournament. They ended up getting third place, which for this team was a great accomplishment.

Jack has improved 100% over the course of the season. Playing in Junior League has helped as well. His last Junior League game he got discouraged over coaches giving him grief over passed balls and throws around the infield. I told Jack that at his age I played Junior High basketball and I got major grief from one 8th grade kid, the best player on the team. The coaches and other players just looked the other way as this kid came after me all the time, calling me a shitty player and everything. I mean, I was a shitty player but still….But I realize looking back, after Laina went through the same thing in her Junior High basketball experience, that this is the age/league where they start to cull the herd. Before this age everyone is excited just be on a team and playing and learning, and the coaches help everyone out. But starting in Junior High the expectations are different; teams are expected to win and players are expected to perform at a higher level. I figure that coaches giving Jack grief are doing their thing where they only start to care about the star players. And the star players don’t communicate with Jack in a way that would help him out and make him a better player.

I told Jack that he is on the fulcrum now. He can either get discouraged with baseball and give it up and concentrate on Cross Country/Track (or get into music like I did), or he can ignore the slings and arrows and redouble his efforts to be a better ball player. He is a much better athlete by far than I was at his age. Also, all of the improvement he has made has come from his own determination and freewill. I’m not much of a coach and I have no helpful tips for hitting or pitching. We play plenty of catch but that’s about all I can do for him.

I hope his stays with baseball and plays it in High School. Being left-handed he could be a big asset as a pitcher. But he has to have the mental toughness to carry on even when he is surrounded by coaches who do more complaining than offering constructive criticism.

Last Saturday Jack had two ballgames in Springfield in the morning. So the wife, Elsa, Laina and myself took Jack over there at 7 in the morning. He played two great games, which his team won both. Everyone played great actually. It’s those types of games in which you see that you’re over-matched, like it’s not competitive. These were good confidence building games after the string of losses they’ve been putting up though.

I took everyone home and Jack and myself came back to Chatham for the night game. They won that, so they had to play again Sunday morning. Wife, Jack and myself took the Corolla over so that I could leave the Tesla charged for our trip to the airport. If we would have took the Tesla I would have had to go through Springfield yet again to supercharge.

Jack’s team lost the championship game but got medals for coming in second, which was pretty cool.

We came back home and got the house ready for mom to stay at for the next five days. We packed up the car and started off on our trip to Romeoville, to stay in a hotel overnight so we could more easily catch our morning flight out of Midway. The car said we could miss the Normal supercharger and head all the way to Dwight with 10% battery. I’d had forgotten how great Teslas do in warm weather. The batteries are warmer so they can go farther, which is just like a gas car too but you don’t really notice that with a gas car. There’s no range anxiety there because there are multiple gas stations everywhere; you don’t pay attention to the gas gauge/range as much as you do in an electric car.

10% is too close for comfort to me so we stopped in Normal anyway to charge up. Meijers is always a nice place to go into anyway while charging. Jack got some bluetooth headphones for the trip.

Then it was a relatively short trip to Dwight, where we charged for about 10 minutes and got some stuff from Casey’s. We really didn’t have to charge here, but, you know, range anxiety.

Then it was another relatively short drive to our hotel in Romeoville. Getting out of the car, heading to the hotel entrance, I was struck by the feeling of how much I love to travel. Just the idea of getting away and having some new experiences is awesome. As an introverted type of person, traveling and having my senses triggered by new things is part of what drives me. I used to be ok traveling alone, like for work, but now I have to have my family with me in order to get the full happiness out of it. Laina didn’t make it on this trip with us but she will go next month to Miami when we all go. But I truly love having new, shared experiences with my family.

Before we settled in for the night we went to supercharge all the way up to 90% so that I would assured that the car would have enough energy while parked at the airport garage.

We had a decent night in the hotel. You never know how many alarms your kids have set on their phones until you wake up in the middle of the night to turn them off. Jack had the first alarm for 5:45AM. Seriously?! This kid hasn’t been up that early since he was born.

We woke up, had a good breakfast, then made the short jaunt to Midway. I wished we were flying out of O’hare but Southwest doesn’t fly out of there. I love airports. I love O’hare. I love the idea that you can walk around for an hour in an airport and still not cover the same ground. I really want to show the kids the walkways that go under the runway. It’s all just very Chicago-y. Jack asked me why anyone would want to go to Chicago. I told him that we all went when he and Elsa were very young. There is so much to see and do here. It’s a world class city that we are lucky to be within driving distance of. I mean, St. Louis will always be “my” city, the one I love. But Chicago is amazing for tourism and shopping.

I parked the car with 87% battery, shut off Sentry and Cabin-overheating, and shut off my phone app – all things that will drain a battery if left on.

We got through security with something like 54 hours to spare lol, which is how I like it. I haaaaaaate being rushed in airports. It’s a helpless feeling.

We did the Southwest stand-in-line thingy, got in the metal tube, flew through the air, looked down at nothing but overcast skies the whole way, then landed in Portland Maine. Instead of getting a Turo I got a rental car due to an amazing discount from work. I picked out a Nissan Armada, which was damned near like a tank of a vehicle compared to our Model Y. It seats eight, comfortable. There was a pang of initial guilt, like maybe we should have had a gas car, this size, for our other road trips.

We drove about 20 miles south down to our AirBNB in Saco ME. This is what makes our trips affordable (and numerous): Southwest flights (cheap, free baggage), Turo (usually cheaper than rentals), and AirBNB (cook your own meals to save $$$, do your own laundry so that you don’t have to bring so many clothes). It was a cute little cottage, part of a duplex. There was one bathroom, which wasn’t too bad but wow, we’re spoiled with our three bathrooms at home. Our master bed was rock-hard. I thought this would be a major issue but I think it helped the wife and I get up earlier in the mornings, like around 6AM. The light beaming into the bedroom helped in that regard as well.

Emma slept on the couch, like always. Jack crafted an awesome bed out of the two chairs and cushions. Elsa slept in the other bedroom. It was quant, to say the least.

That Monday night we found a local seafood place and paid market price ($62) for lobster. Mine tasted okay but wow, it was too chewy for me. I was having flashbacks to when I had awful acid reflux, before I knew what it was. I spent a month not being able to eat solid foods for fear of choking.

Tuesday morning my awesome wife made awesome pancakes and we drove into South Portland to the bike shop to start our 3-hour bicycle tour of lighthouses. Our guide Ross was a great dude, used to work for NPR. Karen from Berkeley CA was with us too. She did architectural design for cities, to make them more walkable, which sounds like the most Berkeley kind of job imaginable lol.

We saw a couple of cool lighthouses, rode on some nice bike paths and then visited the Portland Head lighthouse which was the most picturesque of them all. We had lobster rolls and pulled pork for lunch and then headed back to the shop.

The tour was described as “leisurely”. I would describe it as “calf-building”. But all in all it was a very good experience, a very good value.

Wednesday we made the three hour trek up north to Acadia National Park. I’d picked out a “leisurely” 3.2 mile hike, a loop around Jordan Pond. It was a rather uneventful drive up there. There was really nothing but interstate and trees for 3 hours.

We got to the island and had to drive around for 30 minutes, waiting for a parking spot to open up. I guess everyone else had the same idea we had. I’d heard that the national parks were packed every since COVID started, since it was really the only place that vacationers could go.

The first hour of the hike was great. It was a beautiful, clear pond surround by beautiful wilderness. Lots of pictures were taken. The second hour was slightly more grueling, which some rocks to climb and wooden planks to walk. But again, definitely worth the trip and worthy of another visit. I can foresee our family hitting up more national parks on future trips.

On the way back we stopped in Bangor (BANG-OAR, not BANGER) to see Stephen King’s house. There was a guy there taking pictures outside on the sidewalk when we got there. More people stopped after we arrived. It’s pretty cool that he still lives in Bangor, in the same house, in the same residential neighborhood.

On the way home I was really missing our Model Y. This Nissan had the worst user-interface for the display. Somehow it had gotten set to avoid interstates, so we were driving on a backroad for 30 minutes before I figured it out. Add to the fact that you could not change your route while in drive; that would drive me insane if we had to park the Y every I wanted to change routes.

Thursday was game day, to see the Portland Sea Dogs. The stadium was still fairly small for a AA minor league team. But it held about a thousand middle school kids who were there for Education Day. The it started raining like crazy. So it was a clusterfark, for sure, trying to get concessions or to get into the gift shop. Not a good experience for the family but good for Jack and myself because we love baseball, even in the pouring rain.

We left after the fourth inning and went to the Victoria Mansion. It was another one of those mansions that had a bunch of rooms/floors that were off limits to visitors, which is a downer. Like, c’mon man, let us see the whole house! The Pabst Mansion in Milwaukee was the coolest tour we’ve been on. It was a huge house and you could go anywhere in it. I still love the Dana-Thomas house in Springfield most of all though. I’ve been there three or four times and I would go back in a heartbeat. I’m trying to put together a trip to Pittsburgh to see a Pirates game and to go to Fallingwater, sort of Frank Lloyd Wright’s masterpiece. I love architecture though, especially midcentury modern and Art Deco. I can’t wait to see the Art Deco hotels in Miami.

After that we decided to drive to New Hampshire so that we could scratch that state off the map. I would have liked to drive to Vermont too but it was three hours away. We did end up going to Massachusetts for Dunkin Donuts, turning around, and going home. So now we have Vermont to visit, which is going to be hard to do unless we go to Boston or Quebec City sometime and make a concerted effort to go to Vermont.

Friday we went out to the beach, and then decided to drive to Ferry Beach, which was beautiful. It was overcast and 55 degrees the whole trip, so it wasn’t like we were going to swim. But the kids found huge sea shells. We wished we would have went to this beach before and walked it down to the pier.

We packed up the house, headed to Portland and stopped at the Maine Mall to kill some time. The mall is the second largest mall in New England but it was underwhelming. I was hoping it would be like Tyson’s Corner or something of that size. I love going to malls. I’d spent my childhood hearing about the Springfield Mall from my friends that had been there but my family had no reason to go. Especially since Dad worked in Springfield everyday, the last thing he wanted to do on his free weekends was to drive to Springfield. But when my brother turned 16 he got contacts and we had to go to Springfield to get them. I can still literally envision that day clearly, going to the mall; McDonalds! Two toy stores! And going to Toy’s R Us. It was one of the happiest days of my life. Years of anticipation had paid off in spades. So I still like going to new malls to recapture a tiny fragment of that excitement. But as an adult and amateur economist I love to visit malls to gauge how the economy is doing, how many stores are open and closed, what types of stores, how busy they are, etc.

We got to the airport and easily made it through security. My kids are pros at flying. They know the whole spiel of what to take out and place in bins for X-rays. They’ll never have the pent-up anticipation of finally flying like I experienced at age 30, but that’s how it goes. This reminds me, I’ll have to add Portland ME to my airport map.

We flew to Midway, got in the car and it was at 77% percent. So it used about 2% batter per day, which is fine. I’ll take it.

We drove home and only charged at Normal this time. We got home and greeted our loving livestock and rested. Another successful vacation was in the books. I’m thankful for my family that travels extraordinarily well, and thankful for our excellent jobs with excellent pay that allows us to take these excellent trips. The wife and mine education, hard work and thriftiness pays off in later life for us.

I bet veterans of The Great War were pissed when World War Two came around, and then their war was retronym-ed to “”World War One”. Like, one day they’re parade marshals and all that, and everyone recognizes them as Great Veterans of The Great War. And then the next day they’re no longer great; they’re just veterans of a numbered war.

I was supposed to run a 5K today for the Mr. Smith memorial at the school. But last night I was replacing a ceiling light fixture in the kitchen, and when I stepped off the chair I landed wrong and twisted my ankle. It’s not like I was in any sort of shape to run three miles but I still planned on giving it all I had, and then be sore for a week and recover just in time for our trip to Maine.

Jack got second overall out of about 40-50 runners, which is awesome. Elsa just beat out Emma for ninth place.

Jack started practice for his Junior League ball team and he loves it so far. He’s got to catch and play first base, which he loves.

Elsa got the part of Young Fiona for the upcoming Shrek summer musical. She has like a five minute musical number that she performed for me. That kid has legitimate musical talent. She can sing like a canary and improvise dance numbers like no one else. I really want to nurture this talent and see how far it will take her.

Last summer I made my acting debut in The Music Man summer show here in town. My reasons for doing that were many. I thought it would be a good way to spend time with Elsa and Emma since they are always in the shows. But I was too busy with my own scenes to even really see what they did during the show. I wanted to shock my system, to get out of this comfortable shell I was in. Time was (and still is) flying by so very fast. I needed to do something new and challenging in order to slow down time. I guess I could have went skydiving or taken up heroin but I didn’t need anything that drastic. I’ve never acted before, in any real sense, save for videos that my friends and I made in our younger years. I also wanted to see what my level of stage fright was compared to my youth, where my band could play shows to hundreds of people and I wouldn’t be the slightest bit scarred. I’m much more frightened to be in a room with one other person and have to make small talk. But I was comfortable being the center of attention in a large crowd. I always just figured that my brain was wired differently.

I initially signed up just for an ensemble non-speaking role. During the third or fourth practice the director said “Tim, you are our new constable!” Everyone clapped, because apparently getting a speaking role was a big deal. The other guy playing the constable had like 3 other roles so he didn’t care.

I was in 3 or 4 scenes, most of the time I just stood around. Maybe I had 10 lines. But I spent 6 weeks repeating those lines over and over and over and over. I was obsessed with getting the lines memorized. There was a phrase “The mayor owns the billiard parlor and that new pool table.” Billiard Parlor. Hard for me to say quickly. But I nailed it.

In my life the only advice I’d ever heard about acting was this: Be Vulnerable. You have to be able to seem open and vulnerable if you want the audience to engage with your character. So I was as vulnerable as a constable bit-part character could be lol. I didn’t want to learn any more about acting because, let’s face it, the more I learn about any subject, the less I know. I wanted the dumb, unearned confidence that comes with being totally oblivious to a subject (acting, in this case).

I think I did ok in this part. I didn’t ask anyone their opinion, because I didn’t really care. It was just a small part.

There were four shows. I was super relieved after the first show because I’d proven to myself that I could take on a new challenge (acting) and do a decent job. But during the second show, right before I started my line of dialogue, I felt this surge of something like power. Like I was thinking, “This is my time. The audience is going to have to sit there and listen to me, and there’s nothing they can do about it.” I realized that I’d been bitten by the acting bug that people often talk about. It was this idea that I was performing this creative endeavor and that all eyes would be on me (however briefly). I must have been un-bitten because I didn’t try out for this year’s musical. I figure with three summer vacations coming up I wouldn’t have the time to devote to some speaking role. I also wouldn’t have the energy. Man, I was working with some great actors and actresses for the Music Man. I figured all I had to do was give a passable performance, but when I heard these other people get up there and act I knew I was going to have to step up my game.

Actually, Jack and myself will be stagehands this year, moving the sets around behind the scenes. This is something low-key that I can handle. I convinced Jack to do the backstage stuff last year and he was the consummate professional. He showed up to every show wearing all black, and he knew what to move and when. He even got on me when I missed my part to help him move a desk for one of the sets.

But yeah, for a small town community theatre performance I was blown away about how much work goes into it and how much practice and preparation goes on. 6 weeks of practice, and then poof, it’s gone in a weekend. It seems like one of those designs in sand that monks do, spending hours drawing intricate lines, only to destroy it all in the end. The Monday after the last performance we left for our trip to Tampa. During this vacation it took a long time to stop practicing my lines and get them out of my head. About halfway through the trip I had to plead with Jack and Elsa to stop singing “Ya’ Got Trouble” just so I could get my sanity back.

I remember one of the costume people being so happy that they found a constable hat for me. It turned out it was one of these English bobby hats, which made me look wildly out of place for River City, Iowa. But the fact that someone was so excited about the hat, I figured if that’s what it takes for them to be engaged with the production, I could forgo my judgement about my costume and just be a good sport.

Another memory was during tech week when a couple of the guys in the dressing room broke out the makeup and starting putting it on their face. I was like “What the fuck is that?!” They said I had to wear it because of the stage lights, and how I would look too dark if I didn’t wear it. I was still traumatized from Kindergarten, when I missed a day of school and when I came back the teacher said that I had make-up work to complete. I was completely frozen with fear, thinking that I was going to have to put on makeup in front of the whole class. Eventually Elsa (my emotional support Human) did my makeup for a couple of days and by the last show I was comfortable with it.

So I’ll have to be in another musical some day, when I know I have enough time to dedicate to it. It was super fun and I made some friends. Before each show the cast went to the band room and did vocal warm ups. It ramped up the excitement. Then we all held hands and formed a circle, said a prayer, said a few words, then went out to the dark stage and waited for the intro music to stop. It was a religious experience, with all the fellowship. The curtains opened, the spotlight was on, and it was time to perform! You can’t see the audience because of the stage lights, so you don’t really know how many people are out there. After the first act is over, you hear all the applause and it’s a great feeling for about 5 seconds. Then it’s time to get prepared for the next scene.

In one of my college German classes we played bingo. All the B-I-N-G-O letters and numbers were in German, of course. “Oh zwei”, my professor would say. “Beh einze” was another combination.

“Geh sechs.” huh? “Geh sechs. Does anyone here have geh sechs?” I’m sorry? Did anyone else hear that?

I did not have geh sechs.

Today we had a surprise 80th birthday party for mom. To top it off her twin brother and older brother showed up. My cousin from her in town showed up as well. It was a great time and everyone ate, sat and talked for a couple of hours.

This is the first surprise party we’ve ever thrown and it’s the first mom has ever had. I was super pleased to see my uncle Jack, who was one of the people my son was named after. Jack had such a big influence on my life. Back in 1987 he picked up mom and myself for a St. Louis trip. I’d never been far from my cowtown before, so going to the city was a culture shock. We went to a ballgame, up in the Arch, on the floating McDonald’s, to Union Station, and finally to a Billy Joel concert. I mean I still love the Cardinals, Billy Joel and St Louis to this day. I attribute part of my personality to trying to act like Jack; he’s basically a male version of mom. I was a Cubs fan before the trip changed me to a die hard Cardinals fan. That fact alone makes him an MVP to me lol.

I’m the youngest of 30-some Baer grandchildren. Me and my cousin are the only remaining ones still living in the original hometown. This doesn’t bother me though as I’ve lived enough places and seen enough of the country to realize that you basically grow where you are planted.

It took everyone for rides in the Tesla. Between the crazy acceleration and crazy fart noises I bet I’ve sold two of their cars.

Jack (my son) wasn’t here as today was the track and field sectional meet in Williamsville. He got home about 20 minutes after everyone took off. I would still like him to meet my relatives and get to know them a little bit because who knows when the next time is the last time. I really need to set up some sort of formal family reunion, like the one’s I used to go to when I was real little. It’s sad that I only see these people nowadays during a funeral. Growing up we hardly ever saw or spoke to relatives because dad liked to stay home. Now as I get older I feel like starting some connections to my cousins. I’m sure as the years go by I’ll care more and more about people and relationships and less about immediate problems and material items.

This Saturday was a busy day for everyone. I woke up at 5:30 AM, got Jack up at 6, and we headed to Jacksonville for his first two morning baseball games. They ended up with a late rally and tieing (tying?) the first game and lost the second game but it was close. Jack had a lot of stomach muscle pain from this cough that he’s had for almost two weeks now. But coach made him the starting pitcher so he went out there and was a trooper, never complaining.

He only gave up one hit and one run in the first inning. But in the second inning he struck out the only three batters he faced. It was pretty damn impressive. The other team starting tee-ing off on him in the third inning though. But I think that’s ok. He’s more of a thrower than a pitcher still at this point, but he throws strikes mostly. There’s no wild pitches or passed balls when the throws.

We ate a Buffalo Wild Wings with Ed and Matt, who had come over to watch Jack play.

Then I went home and washed the car to get it ready for Emma’s prom. We went uptown to the park and took pictures of Emma and her boyfriend, and some of their classmates. Emma was gorgeous in her dress. I mean, she’s a good looking young lady all the time but she really picked out an awesome dress this time.

I chauffeured Emma and her date in the Tesla because RT didn’t feel comfortable driving it (or any of our other vehicles). So I got to hang out in the parking lot and watch all the kids mix and mingle before the walk in. The farting Tesla on the external speaker was a big hit all around.

RT talked some about his autism and reactions and stuff like that. It’s weird because Emma never talks about her autism. I can literally count on one hand the number of times I’ve heard my wife mention to someone else that Emma is autistic. It’s not something to hide or be ashamed of, but we don’t make it part of Emma’s identity. There’s no inspirational quotes on Facebook, no pity being requested or being given. Emma has a normal high school routine and extracurricular activities. This is something I love about my wife and one of the reasons she was such a good special education teacher; she would acknowledge that someone had a impairment or disability and then move on from it. She has taught so many kids to be as independent as possible. When it comes to Emma I just follow my wife’s lead on how to raise her. It may have been hard on my oldest daughter when she was growing up because sometimes we needed to have two sets of rules – one for Laina, one for Emma. It was a continually learning process to see where Emma could function “normally” and where we might have to dial things back to deal with her autism. But wow, I’m amazed at how far she has come in her life. But I try not to act amazed. It’s just business-as-usual around our house.

After prom drop off it was time to get back home, pick up Jack, Elsa and Laina, and head back to Jacksonville for a supposed 8:15pm game. But due to the rain delays earlier all the games got pushed back. It’s was 9:45PM and Jack’s game still hadn’t started. I made plans for him to get a ride home, and me and the girls left.

I had to get the coffee stuff and Nintendo Wiis ready for the post-prom party. It was a big hit, bigger than I could have imagined. Pretty awesome, all in all. At 3:00AM I picked up Emma and my wife from post-prom, went home, and slept.

So as I was walking around at 9:30PM on a beautiful Saturday night at the sports complex, I was in awe of all the activity. There were five ballfields all full of kids playing, coaches, parents sitting along the dugouts in lawn chairs, other teams hitting in the batting cages, people lined up at the concession stand and little kids on the playground. It felt like a factory cranking out kids to play ball. But when I took it all in I realized what most coaches already know – it’s not about baseball. It’s about character development for the kids. It’s about teaching them a skill and how to improve at it, and how to build confidence. It teaches camaraderie and teamwork. It teaches responsibility and how to prepare for events. It teaches patience and resilience, like when an 8:15 game doesn’t start until 10PM. It teaches kids that the other team is not the enemy; the other team is there to test you and make you better. It’s the beauty of competition between two teams that are somewhat evenly matched in skill levels. Baseball is just the means to these ends.

I hate being the middleman for conversations. I don’t mind picking up stuff for someone or dropping something off. But when it comes to conversations I hate having to relay information. I don’t always capture all the details of what one party is saying, nor do I ask enough relevant questions to get more info that the other party may need. If they did an MRI of my brain there would probably be a hole where this area for personal transactions resides in other people.