All three of the kids ran today in Rochester. We almost missed Elsa’s 8:30 start because I put directions for Riverton instead of Rochester in the GPS. Whoops! Elsa didn’t do as well as we all hoped she would, since Rochester is the race where everyone usually does well and gets PRs. Jack did well, even without his “steroids” (prednisone) he’s taking to clear up the poison ivy on his legs.

Elsa won medals at both of her earlier meets, at Orchard Hill in Lewiston and in Havana. She has a good chance of going to state. Jack continues to improve. Emma is doing better as well.

I hesitantly report that my hearing in my left ear is getting better, but about every other day it does this crazy thing where it starts beeping. I had to go to the clinic for it last week and they prescribed some OTC Meclizine for it. They think that my inner ear is inflamed and the beeping is my blood rushing by it. I want to say the Meclizine sort of helps. I’m not 100% sure what makes it come and go at this point. But I do know that it driving me insane last week when I couldn’t sleep because of it. There’s still some new noise floating around in that ear. I’m not so sure it’s from the recent concerts we’ve been too because I wore earplugs for the most part. Plus every so often I feel pressure in that ear, so it definitely could be swollen.

I just purchased tickets to see another Queen cover band, this time in Springfield. It should be a good time because the kids know all the Queen songs now, plus we’ll be home at a decent time on a weeknight.

I’m just about done with my book about Flow and optimal experience. It’s turning out to be an awesome book towards the end. It’s more of a manual for how to be a happy human being instead of a how-to for actually achieving flow. I know I feel better after reading it. And it’s not some typical self-help book, like the ones that give you five easy ways to do so-and-so, complete with some easy nemonic or trick to remembering the five ways. The Flow book is written more with a psychological bend to it. One of the eye-opening chapters I just finished was on how passive experiences (like watching TV) may keep our mind occupied but it doesn’t lead to personal growth. Really, like setting a goal and then working to achieve it is what leads to optimal experiences and growth. To that end I made it a point to do something creative tonight, which was work with Elsa on writing a song. I did the trick where you give yourselves a time limit to come up with a title, chorus, verse, etc. This is done so that there is some spark for creativity, knowing that you have a limit. So far the song is about air conditioning. Maybe we’ll finish it tomorrow.

Reading Flow also capped off a question I’ve had for a long time, which was “How can I properly motivate my kids to be engaged, enjoy and do well in school activities, clubs and sports, when I myself didn’t receive any push from my parents to do this when I was in school?” I mean, it’s obvious to me that my children are enjoying and thriving in sports and band and chorus and such, which is all due to the wife pushing them into it. I have always backed up her decisions for our kids even though I was unsure myself on how to properly motivate them.

When we were all dining in a Cuban restaurant while on vacation in Miami, my oldest daughter, my brother and myself had a great time going through our laundry lists of neuroses that were the result of how we were raised. I thought it was comforting to know where some of our behaviors originated and it was therapeutic. But when we got home I got to thinking about this conversation and how it really solve anything. It’s just empty reassurance that could actually be harmful, in the sense that it could make someone feel like they’re not totally responsible for their behavior. And also it could reinforce negativity, thinking that we don’t have total ability to change ourselves and how we act. And finally, all this introspection into mental health can actually be bad for mental health. This is when I realized what structured activities do for a child – they give them something to focus on so skills can be learned and refined, and character is built. By focusing on external events we keep our mind healthy. It’s when we feel the need to go inside our selves and only think about our mental health that bad things can happen. So armed with this discovery I realized why Elsa should be in cross country despite her complaining about it during the summer. And I’m able to articulate why she and the other kids should be active, without having to say “because mom said so” or some vague “because it’s good for you” type of answer.

So back to the Flow book, what I just read capped this off. It said that, for most people, if they don’t have a structured activity with a goal and feedback, then their mind will be in a passive state. And it’s in this passive state that intrusive thoughts and negativity creep in and consume our consciousness. This is a problem unless you have found a way to control your consciousness, through something like meditation or yoga. Then it’s ok to be alone with your thoughts.